Communication is the pinnacle of a healthy relationship. Without it, a relationship can deteriorate quickly. It’s more than just talking or hearing. Communication is a means of connection between two people. It’s intense and it’s intimate.
Imagine a bridge between you and your loved one. This bridge keeps your shared feelings and thoughts safe. Without it, the rapid water below (aka the outside world) would soon overpower you both. Not only would the connection be lost, but the trust would surely drown as well.
Communication is the most important element in a successful relationship. It can also be the most difficult. You don’t have to jump in with no strategy, though.
Prepare yourself with communication tools. By doing this, you will establish a solid connection with your loved one. Here are four tips on how to jump start a loving conversation.
Adopt the Right Mindset
Your mind must be in the right place for a conversation to be productive. If heated discussions are still on replay in your brain then you’re not quite ready.
Either let more time pass or make a mental effort to not allow these negative thoughts to exit. Such pain-filled impressions have a tendency to tear wide open during a reconnection attempt. When this happens, the emotional hemorrhaging begins again.
Be patient. Wait until your emotions and mind settle into a state of normalcy again. By doing this, it will be easier for you to be open and calm. Poised with stability, you are starting any conversation on the right path.
Timing Is Everything
For a loving conversation to be effective, each party must feel safe and secure. However, achieving security means more than removing yourself from a war-zone.
Safety is achieved when there are no threats; no threats of interruptions or distractions. Going off the grid isn’t always reasonable. You can influence your environment. Turn off the television, silence your phone, and go somewhere private.
Also, attempt your conversation when you’re both well rested. Exhaustion clouds the mind and weighs down emotions. By eliminating distractions, you’re setting the course for focused communication.
Be on the Offense
You’re not marching into battle with sword drawn, and yet you are. Being on the offense doesn’t mean attacking your conversation partner. It means that you’re approaching this communication effort with strategy. The strategy is to abolish the void between the two of you.
There is a problem to be fixed, and you are leading the way with the intention of fixing it together. Opposed to being defensive, you are attempting to make headway on the offense.
In doing this, avoid “you” phrases. Say, “I feel upset when this happens” rather than, “You make me feel upset.” You are not attacking your loved one, you are addressing the problem. The strategy is the key to being on the offensive.
Be Ready to Listen
Being the initiator of the conversation does establish you as the one to start talking. This doesn’t mean it should be a one-sided conversation, though. Successful communication is a toggle between listening and talking.
Be ready to play the part of the listener. Listening is more than simply hearing. Practice active listening to ensure effective communication. Active listening is essentially repeating back what you heard in your own words.
Often self-expression is not spot on during intense or intimate moments. Help your loved one express his or her thoughts by validating what was shared.
Communication breakdown in a relationship is potentially disastrous. You can stop the downward spiral by reestablishing your connection. Jump start a loving conversation by managing communication challenges strategically. Soon you can refresh your relationship and give your connection new life.
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